Keep the Opening Personal
Say why you care and name an observation. Avoid trying to settle every disagreement at once. One concern can be enough to start an honest conversation.
Care Before Confrontation
How to Talk to Someone You Love About Their Substance Use
Consider a caring conversation about substance use, with attention to listening, your own support and immediate safety.
Arrange a Free ConsultationLead With Care
Concern about someone’s substance use can be hard to express. You may be worried that raising the subject will sound like blame or lead to an argument. Begin with care for the person and describe what you have noticed in concrete terms.
You might say that a recent conversation left you concerned or that a change in their routine has been on your mind. Speak from your own perspective. A specific observation leaves more room for discussion than a label or a claim about their intentions.
Listen and Make Room for Your Own Support
Choose a calm time when there is room to talk and listen. Ask how the other person sees what you have described, then leave space for their response. Listening does not require agreeing with everything or setting aside your own needs.
You can think about what support and boundaries mean for you as well. If immediate safety is a concern, call or text 988 for crisis support and call 911 in an emergency. A difficult conversation can wait while urgent safety needs receive attention.
How CTACC Can Support the Conversation
CTACC offers support for families and loved ones, couples and family sessions, recovery coaching and substance use interventions. An intervention is a planned, caring conversation about concerns and possible support, not a punishment. Karen Bernetti’s profile describes her work in her own words.
The links below can help you consider support for yourself or help preparing a shared conversation. You do not need another person’s decision about care before asking about your own support. Tell us what has been difficult to say and what you want help thinking through.
Prepare Without Writing a Speech
Ask and Listen
Invite the person to describe their perspective. You can pause before responding. The purpose is to hear one another, not force an immediate decision.
Include Your Own Needs
Consider whom you can speak with about your worry. Your questions about boundaries and support matter. Asking for help for yourself is an option even if your loved one is uncertain.
Questions About Loved-One Conversations
What if They Do Not Want to Talk?
You can seek support for your own concerns. CTACC’s family services and coaching are options to discuss without waiting for their choice.
What if There Is an Immediate Safety Concern?
Call or text 988 for crisis support. In an emergency, call 911. Address urgent safety needs before trying to continue the conversation.
Bring Your Question to CTACC
Call or text 860.506.6016 for a free 15-minute consultation. We can discuss your question and the kind of support you are considering.